Telling Stories

Maybe Someone Should Ask Us "Do You Want Bugs With That"?

No, this is not about dead-end fast-food jobs.  Unfortunately, it's far more disgusting.  I came across this slide show at MSN.com on some little-known additives:

Carmine

According to the FDA, this red food coloring (also known as cochineal extract) is made from dried, ground bugs. The Dactylopius coccus costa insect is native to Peru and the Canary Islands, where it feeds on red berries. The berries accumulate in the females' stomachs and in their unhatched larvae—which is what gives the extract its red coloring. Carmine is one of the most widely used coloring agents, and food manufacturers routinely use it to turn foods shades of pink, red or purple. Chances are it's what makes the color of your strawberry yogurt or that cranberry drink look so appealing.

But the problem is that at the moment, you have no way of knowing if you're ingesting these little red bugs. Instead, the label will simply read, "artificial color" or "color added." But the Vegetarian Legal Action Network petitioned the FDA to disclose the presence of carmine, and  in 2010, that requirement will go into effect. "But it will still be listed only as carmine or cochineal extract, with no mention of the ingredient's source," says Michael Jacobson, Ph.D., executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. "The onus will be on the consumer to know what carmine is, and that's asking a lot."

Emphasis added.  But wait, there's more

Shellac

Just in case you haven't eaten your fill of bugs, here's another opportunity for insect consumption. Shellac—which is used to make that shiny coating on jelly beans and to give fresh fruits and vegetables that perfect, glossy finish—is made from the excretions of Kerria lacca insects that are native to Thailand. Again, vegetarian lobbyists have urged the FDA to require that labeling indicate if fruits and vegetables are coated with an insect-derived substance. The FDA wouldn't go that far, but, according to Jacobson, it did require produce packers to disclose whether any coating used is animal- or vegetable-derived. "But it would be on a placard or on the box of produce, not in bold type on the fruit or vegetable itself," says Jacobson, and not necessarily displayed to grocery shoppers. "And I don't know that the regulation is very strongly enforced," he adds.

Emphasis added.  And more.

Gelatin

Gelatin is used in many packaged foods as a thickening agent. In addition to gummy candy, gelatin is found in Jell-O, ice cream and yogurt. But those innocent-looking little Gummi Bears are hiding a somewhat distasteful secret.

According to the USDA, the gelatin that gives them their kid-pleasing texture is created at the expense of several different animal parts, including ligaments, skin, tendons and bones.

Emphasis added.  All of a sudden, going organic doesn't sound too much of an imposition anymore.  After all, who in their right mind would say "I'll have an apple and a side of bugs to go with it"?

Really Bad Publicity

Every time a person chooses to end his life for reasons other than to end physical medical suffering it's a sad loss.

Such is this case, the man who killed himself at the Chrystal Cathedral yesterday.  But it certainly won't help certain aspects of this ministry:

GARDEN GROVE, Calif. — A man shot and killed himself in front of a cross inside televangelist Robert H. Schuller's Crystal Cathedral on Wednesday as a nearby volunteer told a group of visitors about the church's suicide-prevention program, police and church officials said.

Emphasis added.  That can't be good publicity for that program.

Buying Your Way Out of Hell

Talk about a blast from the past:

The announcement in church bulletins and on Web sites has been greeted with enthusiasm by some and wariness by others. But mainly, it has gone over the heads of a vast generation of Roman Catholics who have no idea what it means: “Bishop Announces Plenary Indulgences.”

In recent months, dioceses around the world have been offering Catholics a spiritual benefit that fell out of favor decades ago — the indulgence, a sort of amnesty from punishment in the afterlife — and reminding them of the church’s clout in mitigating the wages of sin.

Emphasis added.  I'm not a Catholic - although I was baptized as one - and I'm usually very open minded when it comes to religious issues: your path is your path and nobody else's.  I believe I'm as free to pursue my spiritual enrichment my way as you are to pursue it your way.

But when I read this, my open-mindedness had to withstand a tsunami of "you've got to be f***ing kidding me!" building inside me.

According to church teaching, even after sinners are absolved in the confessional and say their Our Fathers or Hail Marys as penance, they still face punishment after death, in Purgatory, before they can enter heaven. In exchange for certain prayers, devotions or pilgrimages in special years, a Catholic can receive an indulgence, which reduces or erases that punishment instantly, with no formal ceremony or sacrament.

There are partial indulgences, which reduce purgatorial time by a certain number of days or years, and plenary indulgences, which eliminate all of it, until another sin is committed. You can get one for yourself, or for someone who is dead. You cannot buy one — the church outlawed the sale of indulgences in 1567 — but charitable contributions, combined with other acts, can help you earn one. There is a limit of one plenary indulgence per sinner per day.

Emphasis added.  So, for a "charitable contribution" and some "other act" (and if it's the Catholic Church, you really have to wonder what that "other act" entails) you get one sin per day wiped clean.  Not only that, you can buy earn them for the dead too.  Of course, why would you do that?  You don't know whether they "fell all the way down" if you catch my drift.

It has no currency in the bad place.

So you really don't know whether you're helping a dead one get out of purgatory earlier or you're just wasting them away because they are "down below."

Now, believing in this is OK for a lot of people, but somehow Scientology or the LDS is wacky?

Get real, please!

From the "Oh Please, Please, PLEEEEZEEEEEE" Folder

This would be just great:

An influential conservative political action committee is pledging to support primary challengers to any Republican senator who supports President Obama's stimulus package — the latest public show of dissatisfaction from the right over the massive measure before Congress.

"The American people don’t want this trillion dollar political payoff that will just line the pockets of non-governmental organizations who supported [President] Obama in the election,” said Scott Wheeler, the executive director of The National Republican Trust PAC, an organization that calls for less government spending and lower taxes.

“Republican senators are on notice," Wheeler said. "If they support the stimulus package, we will make sure every voter in their state knows how they tried to further bankrupt voters in an already bad economy.”

Go ahead.  Find some "mainstream Republicans" to run against the only three Republicans U.S. Senators that have managed to get themselves reelected in New England and the Northern Mid-Atlantic, the bluest region of the U.S.  Hopefully, the "mainstream Republicans" can beat them and then it would become an all-too-easy three seat pick-up (with the possible exception of Spencer in PA).

If news like this doesn't convince you of how out of touch Republicans are, nothing will.

I Didn't Know Who I Was, and I Still Don't

I took the test, and this is the result.

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Tree Hugging Organized Self-Improver

Damned if I know what that means.

If You Thought Your Last Plane Ride Was Bad . . .

. . . check out what these people had to deal with:

Spending 10 hours aboard a plane is never a particularly fun prospect, but it becomes downright terrifying when the pilot appears to be so drunk that he can't speak properly.

It has emerged that passengers aboard an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to New York were greeted by a welcome announcement from the pilot, Alexander Cheplevsky, that was so garbled it was impossible to tell what language he was speaking. They became so scared that a group of passengers demanded to see the man at the controls to check whether or not he was drunk.

Emphasis added.  Maybe it was English and Russian.  He was doing a free-form bilingual greeting.  People are so picky about languages anyhow.

Mr Cheplevsky refused to leave the cockpit to reassure the passengers,

Probably because all the Stoli was in the cockpit.

who were told by the crew they should either stop complaining or get off the plane. The Moscow Times, which had a reporter on board the plane, claimed that an Aeroflot representative boarded the aircraft and told the passengers it wasn't a big deal if the pilot was drunk.

"Really, all he has to do is press a button and the plane flies itself," the representative allegedly said.

Emphasis added.  I get it, all those thousands of hours of training are just one big scam.  Lesson No. 1: Press that button.  Lesson No. 2: Press that button with your left hand.  Lesson No. 3: Press that button with your right hand.  Lesson No. 4: Press that button with one eye closed. . . .

"The worst that could happen is he'll trip over something in the cockpit."

Maybe over something important like the steering wheel.

The newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda reported that Mr Cheplevsky had been celebrating his birthday the night before, but the airline denied he was drunk. A spokeswoman for Aeroflot, Irina Dannenberg, accused the passengers of "mass psychosis" and said the airline would sue Ms Sobchak. The airline later issued a statement claiming the pilot may have suffered a stroke before take-off.

That's reassuring.  They can't tell a drunk from a stroke victim.

"I don't think there's anyone in Russia who doesn't know what a drunk person looks like," a passenger, Katya Kushner, told The Moscow Times. "At first, he was looking at us like we were crazy. Then, when we wouldn't back down, he said, 'I'll sit here quietly in a corner. We have three more pilots. I won't even touch the controls, I promise.'"

Emphasis added.  I'm pretty sure that's not an exclusively Russian skill.  Puerto Ricans are pretty good at spotting drunks too.

It's Not That Hard, You Know

I'm rather disappointed at these people for being so careless/dumb/sly with their taxes.  I mean, if you make that kind of money, you can hire an accountant to do your taxes correctly.  You sit down with him/her, tell everything you know, let him/her ask you some questions, and do it right.

Even if you're too busy for taxes, get TurboTax or some other software program and do it yourself.  That's how I do it and I haven't gotten it wrong - yet.

"Whoops, I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it if you're vying for a Cabinet post or a position at the White House.

Sad, But True: Gay People are Just Like the Rest of Us

I support same-sex marriage.  Personally, I think it's a civil rights issue, not a sexuality issue or a morality issue.  I am convinced that, for gays and lesbians, feeling attracted to members of their same gender is as natural as it is for heterosexuals to find a partner of the opposite sex.

One of the things I used to kid about was that, as a lawyer, I had to be in favor of gay marriage because after gay marriage comes gay divorce and there are legal fees to be made there.

Unfortunately, it appears that I was more than right on that one:

A lesbian couple who led the fight for gay marriage in Massachusetts have filed for divorce.

Julie and Hillary Goodridge were among seven gay couples who filed a lawsuit that led to a court ruling making Massachusetts the first state to legalize same-sex marriages in 2004. The couple became the public face of the debate in the state and married the first day same-sex marriages became legal.

The divorce case was filed last week in Suffolk Probate and Family Court and was not unexpected. The couple announced they were separating in 2006.

For those who think that gay marriage is a threat to traditional marriage, think again.  They fall in love, get married, and get divorced, just like we do.

The more things change, the more they remain the same.

New York State of Mind

There's Punxsutawney Phil:

The world's most famous groundhog saw his shadow Monday morning, predicting that this already long winter will last for six more weeks. . . Phil was as docile as usual, but the same couldn't be said for his grumpy New York City counterpart, Staten Island Chuck . . . .

Having lived in NYC and in SI, this does not come as a surprise:

There are creatures — hibernating bears come to mind, or emergency-room doctors after an overnight shift — who don’t appreciate being roused from their slumber. Perhaps that’s what irked Chuck the Groundhog on Monday morning on Staten Island when Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg tried to lure him out of his wooden shelter.

Chuck wasn’t up for whatever it was that Mr. Bloomberg had planned for him — or for predicting how much longer winter was going to last, for that matter. And he got so annoyed at the mayor that he bit the mayor’s left hand, his sharp teeth piercing Mr. Bloomberg’s black leather gloves.

Come on!  It's NYC.  You don't mess with the people or the animals in NYC!