Telling Stories

Those Crazy . . . Brazilians?

This has to go down as one of the weirdest riot scenes I've ever heard of:

Police clash with police in Brazil violence

Striking police officers were embroiled in a mass-melee with hundreds of their own colleagues in riot gear who policed their protest, amid bizarre scenes in the Brazilian city of Sao Paulo.

The clashes between state police and plainclothes investigators last night came after the demonstrators tried to break through a barrier protecting the state government palace. Officers fired shots, tear gas and shock bombs, and the scuffles broke out.

And you thought "Not-Joe the unlicensed Plumber" had problems!

When It's Your Day to Go, It's Your Day to Go

And not just for the stingray:

MIAMI, Florida (CNN)  -- A woman sunbathing on a boat died after a stingray leaped from the water off the Florida Keys on Thursday and struck her, officials said.

"It's just as freakish of an accident as I have heard," said Jorge Pino of Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. "The chances of this occurring are so remote that most of us are completely astonished that this happened."

He said it was not clear whether the 55-year-old Michigan woman died from the blow to her head, from the ray's barb piercing her or from her fall backward.

The spotted eagle ray weighed about 75 pounds, said Becky Herrin, a spokeswoman for the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.

Emphasis added.  That gives a whole new meaning to "death by blunt force trauma."

"Can't We All Just Get Along?"

Seriously, people, it's not worth going to jail for:

NORRISTOWN, Pa. (AP) — Montgomery County authorities say a man stabbed his brother-in-law during an argument over who should get the Democratic nomination for president.

What’s more, 28-year-old Jose Ortiz, who’s charged with felony assault, is a registered Republican.

District Attorney Risa Ferman says Ortiz supports Hillary Clinton and Sean Shurelds supports Barack Obama. She says they got into an argument in a Collegeville home and Shurelds tried to choke Ortiz. She says Ortiz then stabbed Shurelds in the abdomen.

Shurelds was listed in critical condition at a hospital.

You know, hell must be freezing over: a (1) Latino, (2) registered Republican, (3) supporting Hillary Clinton.  You can't make this stuff up.

Tags: Odd News

Free Speech Does Not Mean Free From Accountability

By now, everyone who doesn't live under a rock or doesn't have a high-speed connection knows about "Taser Boy."

The University of Florida student who got tasered by police.

And although many keep saying that it was "awful" or "reprehensible" or "coercive," I was holding out on writing about this because I wanted to find out why he was being removed in the first place.

Well, I found the answer.

About 1 p.m. Monday, Kerry was nearing the end of a forum at University Auditorium, a large facility beside UF's trademark Century Tower. At that point, audience members were allowed to ask questions at a microphone, university spokesman Steve Orlando said.

The person in front of Meyer was told he would be the last person to speak, Orlando said. Meyer said he was upset with that, so Kerry gave him the OK.

Emphasis added.   So, Taser Boy wasn't even supposed to ask questions but he made a big stink and was allowed the courtesy of doing so.  OK.

When he took the microphone, Meyer asked Kerry several questions. On amateur video linked from Meyer's website, his questions included why Kerry conceded in the 2004 presidential election, why not impeach President Bush now and whether Kerry was a member of the Skull and Bones secret society at Yale University.

When reminded that he was only supposed to ask one question, Meyer responded in the video, ``He's talked for two hours. I think I can have two minutes.''

Emphasis added.  So, he wasn't supposed to be able to ask questions, he is allowed to ask one question, and then he wants all the questions he can pack into two minutes.

"He had used his allotted time. His microphone was cut off then he became upset,'' Orlando said.

I can imagine.  Narcissistic, self-centered assholes are like that.  They get upset when things don't go their way.

Members of the student group sponsoring the event summoned UF police to escort Meyer out, according to a police statement. At first, students can be heard cheering as he is asked to leave.

Emphasis added.  Therein lies the rub.  The hosts asked the police to remove Meyer from the event.  The way it's been depicted in the media suggests that the cops just showed up and harassed him out of the blue.

But Meyer refused to leave, police said.

When officers tried escorting him, he resisted, and officers only partially got handcuffs on him, according to police.

By then, officers had moved Meyer to the back of the auditorium, where he was on the floor, Orlando said.

Officers told him to stop resisting, and when he still refused, they used the stun gun, Orlando said. On the video, he can be heard screaming at that point.

Emphasis added.  So, what were the cops supposed to do? Struggle with him until they could drag him out and not use the taser?  He had an opportunity to get up and scream all the way out as he was escorted out.  He chose to resist vigorously.  That's what happens when you don't follow orders.

Meyer was then put back on his feet and taken out of the auditorium, he said.

Which goes to show he didn't suffer any injury, other than a bruised ego.

At one point in one of the videos, Meyer says, ''Why am I under arrest?'' and ``They're going to try and kill me.''

"They're going to try and kill me"?  Doesn't that sound a little paranoid to you?

In a nutshell, I have no sympathy for this guy.  The cops should have tasered his balls.   That way he won't keep passing those genes on.

 

Tags: Politics, Odd News

Can You Say "Lawsuit"?

UPDATE 06-29-07: Thankfully, the not-drunk guy was found safe.

Sims was found around 9:40 p.m. Thursday night walking along railroad tracks two miles from where he was kicked off the train.

He is in good condition.

An Amtrak spokesperson says while it is an unfortunate situation, the crew acted appropriately by stopping the train and waiting for the authorities.

Sims' family believes he was treated unfairly.

Emphasis added.  That is the understatement of the week!

 

I think someone should throw some "we've hired dumb-asses and now regret it" money into Amtrak's budget.  Because Amtrak is going to need it.

Police: Diabetic Man Missing After Being Kicked Off Train

PHOENIX -- A 65-year-old St. Louis man is missing after Amtrak personnel, mistaking his diabetic shock for drunk and disorderly behavior, kicked him off a train in the middle of a national forest, according to police in Williams, Ariz.

Police said Roosevelt Sims was headed to Los Angeles but was asked to leave the train shortly before 10 p.m. Sunday at a railroad crossing five miles outside Williams.

"He was let off in the middle of a national forest, which is about 800,000 acres of beautiful pine trees," Lt. Mike Graham said.

Emphasis added.  Unless pine trees or pine needles are some sort of new or homeopathic treatment for diabetes, their beauty is purely subjective to Mr. Sims.

Police said there is no train station or running water at the crossing, which is about two miles from the nearest road, at an elevation of about 8,000 feet.

Emphasis added.  Well, the no-train, no-running-water, two-miles-from-the-nearest-road description is consistent with "the middle of a national forest."

Amtrak personnel told police dispatchers that Sims was drunk and unruly.

The Sims family said Sims is diabetic and was going into shock.

Whoops.

Williams police told CBS 5 that Amtrak has used the abandoned crossing as a drop-off site in the past. Graham said that whether drunk or not, no one should be dropped off there.

"You don't put anyone off in an area like that," Graham said.

Gee, YA THINK???!!! Then again, it's not so obvious, now, is it?

Amtrak said the company is looking into the matter.

Translation: Is our liability insurance current and up to date?

"I just want to find him," [Sims' brother Brian] Mason said. "I'm not mad at anybody."

Once he finds an attorney that lets him know how much $$$ they can sue Amtrak for, he'll get mad.  Heck, he'll even get all sorts of weird mental syndromes and everything.

"Our thoughts and prayers are that there's no way he's out there in those woods," Graham said.

Amen to that.

Tags: Law, Odd News

Sweet Justice

This lawsuit should have never been filed.  But since it was, this is probably the best possible outcome.

Dry cleaner wins missing pants case

WASHINGTON -- A judge ruled Monday in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants.

The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.

Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung.

Pearson, an administrative law judge, originally sought $67 million from the Chungs, claiming they lost a pair of suit trousers and later tried to give him a pair that he said was not his. He arrived at the amount by adding up years of alleged law violations and almost $2 million in common law claims.

Emphasis added.  An administrative law judge or ALJ is not a "real" judge.  He's the reasonable facsimile you get at government agencies.  They are attorneys, but are not "judges."  Sort of like Splenda: not sugar, but made from sugar.

That said, this ALJ should be "Dbd," as in disbarred, for filing a frivolous lawsuit.  He's part of that 99% of lawyers that gives the rest of us a bad name.

Tags: Law, Odd News

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!!!

Via The Guardian

Three injured as squirrel goes nuts

A ferocious squirrel went on the rampage in Germany this week, attacking three people before meeting its match in an angry 72-year-old.

Police in the southern town of Passau said the creature attacked a 70-year-old woman on Tuesday, sinking its teeth into her hand.

It next entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring his hand and arm before he fought it off with a pole.

A police spokesman said the squirrel then finally met its end - but it didn't go down without a fight.

"The squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

He explained that experts thought the creature's behaviour could have been brought on by the mating season, or it could have been ill.

Personally, I had a garden once.  And it was the g-ddammed squirrels who destroyed the most beautiful hybrid lilies I've ever seen.  So, good for the old man!

Breaking News from P.R.: The New and Improved Politician Traps are Working!

Via Primera Hora:

The current models and types of traps for politicians is acknowledged to be an utter failure.  In response, ACME products have developed a state-of-the-art politician trap.  While ACME cannot reveal, due to intellectual property concerns, how the trap works, ACME officials did reveal that the trap appeals to politician's innate instincts to lie, grandstand, swindle, hold on to power, and overstay their welcome.  ACME proudly displayed the results of their latest field test.

The company set the trap in the southern town of Lajas.  This blind test was performed without any knowledge of the location of politicians in Lajas or in the Island.  Within 7 minutes - which is within the estimated effective time of under 15 minutes - the Mayor of Lajas Marcos "Turin" Irizarry was trapped, as shown in this picture.

Mayor Irizarry needed medication as he became agitated and agressive and kept repeating "It's not here! It's not here! It's not here!"  ACME officials stated that, since it is a trap, whatever he was looking for wasn't in the cage.

ACME has acknowledged that some minor adjustments to the cage are needed to ensure that the range of attraction is properly controlled.  ACME revealed that there were unconfirmed reports coming out of Venezuela that Hugo Chavez had to be restrained to keep him from jumping in the Caribbean Sea and swimming North.

P.S. Rata, no I do not  intend to do this on a daily basis!!!

You Can't Make This Stuff Up, Continued

Fight breaks out at Boston Pops concert

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Concert-goers, and even Boston Pops conductor Keith Lockhart, were caught off-guard when a fight broke out on opening night at usually sedate Symphony Hall.

Television video of the fight Wednesday night showed two men struggling in the balcony -- one with his shirt pulled off -- as several people stood around them.

Witnesses said they heard a scream from the balcony, and the sound of chairs falling, then a second scream as the fight escalated.

I guess the old saying is true: you can dress them up but you can't take them out.

The Stuff Serial Killers are Made of

Not to disturb this kid's parents, but this is one of the early traits of serial killers:

WICHITA, Kansas (AP) -- A sixth-grader stabbed to death a mother duck and two ducklings that had nested near a school, distressing the other children and alarming officials who said the boy needs mental health treatment.

Students at Wilbur Middle School had named the mother duck Lucy and were monitoring her and her brood, making sure no one disturbed the nest in a grassy creek bed. Their mutilated bodies -- stabbed with a pencil -- were found this week.

An announcement over the public address system led the boy to admit the killings, officials said. They said he had also talked about the act to classmates and didn't understand why it was wrong.

Emphasis added.  This. Is. Sick.